I am taking my meds, but I feel breakthrough anxiety, depression and some unexplained anger.
Sleep is elusive right now. I can fall asleep, staying asleep is a different issue altogether. I wake up and HAVE to look at the alarm clock. This has become an obsession of sorts, counting backwards to when the last time I woke was. Very annoying, to say the least.
My sleep becoming erratic is almost always a sign of impending mania. But I don't feel manic. I feel flat, almost emotionless. Had a windfall of money yesterday so I was able to shop for the kids Christmas. I did it, but there was no joy in it. In fact, I felt nothing. Not happy, not overwhelmed. Just nothing.
Just realized this is going to my old email address. I wonder how that happened? Fucking wonderful. I don't really want to broadcast this to anyone who may have been a follower of this blog. It was supposed to be a new one. How the hell did that happen?
UGH!
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